auslander wrote:Women are the same all over the world, as are men, some good, some bad, some indifferent.If you are looking for perfection, always remember: The last perfect being we had on this rock hurtling through space, we hung him on a cross.
My personal experience. Was in Moskau in early spring 2004, staying with a friend from service. Was introduced to this little slip of a thing and went on a chaperoned date with her, good food, excellent atmosphere, pleasant and at times animated conversation. Our reactions to our mutual friends after the date: 'He's too old.' 'She's too young.' 21 year difference. Neither of us ever married, so of course neither of us with children. By mid 2006 I found I was spending more time in Sevastopol than Florida, so I asked her for her hand in marriage. Her reply was 'Good thing you asked me because if you hadn't, I would have asked you.' She did not want to go to The Land of Round Doorknobs' so I came to her. 15 years together now, through revolution, a war up north, a war in Gruzya. Disagreements? Of course, two entirely different cultures. However, my maid, Miss Dora, gave us both advice after we were officially engaged, virtually verbatim to both of us (She often talked to 'little bits' while I was working): Never go to bed angry or upset in the least. Disagreements are part of normal life together but if you have one, solve the problem before you go to bed, if you have to, stay up all night to find the solution. Only when the solution is in hand can you both sleep.
Best advice either of us ever got. No voice is ever raised in our house, no foul language ever in our house, everything is polite and calm whether it is chastising one of our more mischievous children, discussing the extant crisis of the moment or vowing we will never go to such and such a magazine again. Always, calm, polite and reasoned. Works for us, 8 children included including our youngest little girl, Krist'lyanah, 3 months old. Image of our youngest little girl attached. I think Krist'lyanah has her mother's little nose and my huge ears, but in general she favors both of us.
You make some good points, Auslander. I thought you had always lived in the Donbass. Are you Russian/FSU born?
Obviously you have a situation that works fine for you.
The latest idiot in my case, one of the friction areas was her meddling feminist retard mother and "stages of life" (read "ages) differences. Even tho her retard daughter preferrred it that way. However the daughter was frankly bullied by the mother.
I agree there is good (supposedly) and bad in women the world over, I do think races/nationalities etc have their own traits.
Black women are loud and combative. American women are (often) foaming at the mouth with feminism etc. French women are overly dramatic. Russian women are feminine, but very wily and liable to backstab.. IMO of course.
Your youngest child is beautiful. Altho my favourite is your cat! I have had a couple a lot like him/her.
I had one for over 20 yrs since I was a kid .. same markings but longer fur. Is he a Siamese?
Thanks for your post Auslander.
Maybe that makes me a dickhead for not cutting them earlier?
Sounds like you have a type, actually. Tough, dude, but I'm sure you'd get the hang of it eventually.
You're absolutely right. My type isn't any more "desirable" than various others. But it is in short supply in the West ie Russian of sorts. Which means I end up tolerating/turning a blind eye to red flags etc... which eventually become unsustainable.
Not by choice, more by events my "type" in recent years has also proven to be (by their own admission), rather weak charactered and pyschologicially damamged. Can't say I like that type... but its whats happened.
They also tend to be "non-confrontational".. which can translate to "two faced"/"insincere" when shit goes down... IMO.
"Enough relationship advice from the single guy.... single and happy by the way".
Hmm, therein lies the essence of your answer.
You want relationship advice are you expecting to find a region of Russia where all women are perfect?
Do you honestly think such a place exists anywhere.
What we are talking about is a partner for life... someone you open up to and reveal your innermost secrets and desires to... after a period of time together most people will learn more and more about you so any problem or break up is going to be messy.
It is one thing to argue with someone on the internet, but it is another to argue with someone who knows your secrets and weaknesses.
No one can hurt you more than someone you have been very close to... perhaps what you should be doing is looking for someone who will be a good friend first.
Most people looking for love don't know what they want... they just know they don't have it... and if it is not what they want then they wont fight for it or work to make it work.
But then what are your problems... do you get jealous, are you controlling...
Shock horror surprise mate... different people are different and hearing the failure or success of others on the internet is going to help you how?
Maybe you should go to your nearest university and sign up for all their courses on human psychology and learn tells and weaknesses... girls with daddy issues... nymphos... the obvious problem there of course is that will it last... in my experience men prefer younger women and women often like older men but it is not a hard rule. Plenty of my married friends met at high school, a few others just got together with people they could tolerate and just did not want to be alone so they settled for not perfect... they argue and shout and keep trying to set me up with single lonely people they know.
Another person is not going to fill any gaps in your life, and of course a lot of women will settle for you to pay for dinner till they can find someone better... if you find the right person then good luck to you, but if you think there is a region anywhere on this planet where the good girls come from you are dreaming.
And BTW tailors and cobblers can't really help.... I am rather big (ie tall and heavy) and rather small women seem to like that... a t shirt that keeps their ankles warm so to speak...
Hmm, I think my post was mostly about observations. And how different countries women require different approaches.
Russian women (younger unmarried ones) can come over as very "nice", then backstab.
I notice how some men are pre-emptively very firm with them.
Maybe people here here have specific approaches for Russian women?
(preferably not involving shovels and secluded woodland! ; ) )
I think my problem is that I concentrate on a "type" (which is unusual but no more desirable than plenty of other types) and turn a blind eye to red flags...
Plus I dont settle down for 2nd/5th best because I see my friends doing so. I completely understand your perspective there Garry.
Re psychology, you make a good point. And TBH I have considered brushing up my skills. As men we obsess over work psychology, pick up psychology, sports psychology and shit like Saturday's match. Women seem to yap about shit all day. But what they do is educate each other on male pyschology and social dynamics. Often when this comes to a battle, its like a professional vs an amateur. The man has no clue whatsoever.
As for friends, TBH I think male-female friendships are generally a giant lie. What works is "being members of the social networkrs/circles" For instnace you might get on fine with your brother's/friends mrs, but in truth they arent your friend. They are just "someone's mrs".
Male-female friendships are often i)someone who feeds on attention with ii)someone who pathetically masturbates over the social intimacy wishing they were with that person. Of course there are exceptions, but usually you can spot which is which in the pair... IMO.
Additionally, how many times have you seen the "perfect couple". Are they remotely friends when they split? Nope its a vitrolic text exchanged, and then its like they were never EVER friends in the first place. Why? Because they were a couple/"lovers" but never EVER friends... IMO of course! |Personally I think its truly fucked up, but whatever.. its the culture in many places.
So basically, I don't really want to waste time on "friends" which eventually prove not to be friends. Women "in my circle"? I've never had a problem with tho.
I'm rather at a loss regarding your sartorial difficulties. Have you ever considered dating a big and tall woman? : /
Thanks for your post Garry.