Hilarious-Funny posts Thread

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F4_uYz2GQ2c

In Persian:

Halovin Mobarak.

Arabic:

Eyd Raeb Saeid!!!

Pashtun:

Khosh Hellowin

Azeri:

Xoshbext Halowin

I wish you a good Halloween.

Once this planet is under Russian controll what should be done with it? How should society be managed? What political system to use? & ofcourse how best to absolutely destroy freedom (satiricaly ofcouse) got any ideas?

I realise you are attempting humour, but you actually come across as a western stooge who finally gives up and admits the west is an uncouth evil bunch of thugs and thieves... but they are still way better than the Chinese or Indians or Russians or whomever else they might choose would be.

The problem is that I really don't think the Russians or the Indians or the Chinese want to dominate the world the way the west tries... they just want to be able to make their own choices without western pressure and more importantly judgement.

The call that everyone wants to rule the world is not based in fact... most people just want to be left alone and live by some simple rules that apply to everyone equally.

GarryB wrote:I realise you are attempting humour, but you actually come across as a western stooge who finally gives up and admits the west is an uncouth evil bunch of thugs and thieves... but they are still way better than the Chinese or Indians or Russians or whomever else they might choose would be.

The problem is that I really don't think the Russians or the Indians or the Chinese want to dominate the world the way the west tries... they just want to be able to make their own choices without western pressure and more importantly judgement.

The call that everyone wants to rule the world is not based in fact... most people just want to be left alone and live by some simple rules that apply to everyone equally.

I veiw Russia as a superior country in terms of both society and technology. I know Russia is not actauly evil but I like a little bit of "evil" atmosphere I am so sick of all the good vs bad garbage in reality there is niether so my preference of the "evil" atmosphere does not mean anything about my opinion of Russia. Russia does not bomb civilians or fund terrorism so Russia is actualy the "good" side if you insist on there being a good and bad side.

As for Russia not wanting to control the world well yes but the west is a threat and a threat has to be eliminated. Funny thing is nato give Russia and China a reason to invade its members therefor defeating its claimed purpose.

anyway the purpose of this topic is satirical "evil" plans of what to do after WW3 and not what to actualy do in this event

Heard today the best joke in years, and this was from a certified asshole neocon who I like to putz with.

Dog is man's best friend. If you don't believe this, take your wife and your dog and lock them in the garage. Come back in an hour, open the door, and tell me which one is happy to see you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=43&v=gdB2uBhc0zY


Comments are as good as the vid.

https://www.zerohedge.com/news/2019-04-19/30-extremely-bizarre-florida-man-stories-prove-americas-far-more-trouble-we-thought

Cute even if inane.

Post any funny videos that you've found.

I have seen my share of Star Wars prequel memes but this is first one worthy of sharing here

jpg file name was for a shitpost for 4chan /k/.

This was probably posted in 2018 but I just came across it again. The Kiselev rap. He's got good timing, pretty funny shit.

WTF

with parents born from czech rep coming to the US and being raised there, to be honest if I did not see the English subtitles I would probably be not able to tell the difference if it was a Serbian track

Leaving this for later use:



https://twitter.com/KofmanMichael/status/1354787377143808005

Hope anyone Russian related isn't too offended with a little dark humor.

Joke 1: Communist jokes are not funny until everyone gets it.

Joke 2: There are 3 driving instructors from the U.S., Soviet Union and China.

U.S. instructor: the right represents capitalism flash your signal, right than turn right.

Soviet instructor: the left represents communism flash your signal left, than turn left.

Chinese instructor: flash your signal left, than turn right.

Joke 3: A man goes shopping at Moscow’s supermarket, mumbling to himself, “There are no eggs, no milk, no bread. no meat.”

Policeman hears this, approaches him and says, ”Comrade, if you keep talking like this I will hit you in the head with my pistol!”

The man replies, “Jesus! We ran out of bullets too?!

Joke 4: In 1937, a man stands at the Red Square and shouts, "Down with a tyrant with a moustaсhe!"

Beria, who walked nearby, overheard it, arrested the man and brought him in front of Stalin.

Stalin asks: “Comrade, who did you have in mind when you said "Down with a tyrant with a moustaсhe?”

Man replies: “Well of course I meant Hitler!”

Stalin: Very good, comrade, you are free to go.”

Man walks away, Beria tries to do so, but Stalin stops him: “Not so fast, comrade Beria. Tell me, who did you have in mind?”

Joke 5: Two Russians are in line for bread in Moscow. One says, "We've been here for three hours! I can't take it anymore! I'm going to go kill Khrushchev!" and leaves.

After a short while, he comes back, so his friend asks, "What happened?"

The man replies: "The line there is even longer!"

Joke 6: "What nationality were Adam and eve? "

"They had nothing to wear, they shared an apple, and they thought they were in heaven, Soviet of course.

Joke 7: Stalin is visiting the farmlands outside of Leningrad, he visits one such potato farmer, he asks the farmer “comrade, how many potatoes have you produced?”

The farmer responds with “well comrade Stalin, if you stacked them, they would reach god in the sky.”

Stalin replied with “but god does not exist.”

the farmer says “neither do the potatoes comrade stalin.”

Joke 8: Hans, a man from West Germany decides to move at Eastern Berlin. His mother tells him: Hans, my boy. From the first moment that you cross the Iron Fence, you are in dangerous territory. Don't dare to write me that there is something bad in a communist country. In your letters, you will use a blue pen if you are telling me the truth, and red pen if you are lying.

About 2 weeks later, the first letter arrives, and every word is blue.

“My dear mother, The 2 weeks that have passed were enough to make me love the East Germany. The people are great, the system cares about everyone, and generally, there is a very pleasant atmosphere. The only negative is that I can't find red pen anywhere.”

Joke 9: A survey conducted between an Englishman, a Frenchman and a Russian, "what was the best moment of your life?"

Englishman: " I started my own enterprise and became a millionaire!"

Frenchman: " I had candle light dinner with a beautiful Italian woman on Eiffel Tower."

Russian: "When NKVD broken into my bedroom and screamed Ivan! You're under arrest for conspiracy against the Party! And to which I replied apologies, I am Sergei, Ivan lives next door."

Joke 10: She: "Come over!"

Stalin: "I can't, I'm sending people to gulag!"

She: "My parents aren't home!"

Stalin: "I know!"

Joke 11: An old man walks up to a guard at the Kremlin... "Good day to you comrade, I´d like to talk to Stalin"

"But grandpa, comrade Stalin died long ago!"

The next day, the old man is there again... "Good morning, I´d like to talk to Stalin"

The guard, slightly annoyed: "Like I said, comrade Stalin died years ago"

The day after, he´s there again... "Good morning, I´d like to talk to Stalin"

The guard, now pissed off... "But I told you Stalin died ages ago, why the hell do you keep asking for him?!"

"´Cause it´s so bloody good to hear! "

Joke 12: General Secretary Brezhnev was returning from East Germany by train, His wife asks "Where are we Leonid?"

Mr Brezhnev put his hand out the train window and says "Still in East Germany."

A while later Mrs Brezhnev asks "Where are we now Leonid?" Hand out the window again. Brezhnev says "Somewhere in Poland."

Even later Mrs Brezhnev asks "Where are we now Leonid?" Hand out the window. "Just pulling into Moscow."

"But Leonid, how could you tell where we were just by putting your hand out the window?"

Brezhnev replied "Easy my dear. In East Germany they kissed my hand. In Poland they spat on it. In Russia they stole my watch."

Joke 13: A thief comes to heaven and saint Peter is saying to him: “I am sorry, but your soul is the hell's property.", though he was sad for the man and whispered to his ear: "After they ask you to choose either socialist or capitalist hell, choose the socialist one."

"why?" asks the man.

"Well, in capitalist hell they put you on a board with nails and drive over you with steam roller, In socialist it is the same, but it's always either nails missing, the roller is broken, lacks fuel or when it looks things are about to happen, the driver of the steam roller is too drunk to even stand." answers Saint Peter.

Joke 14: In a school in Poland , the teacher ask one of the class kid to name some countries friendly to Poland
- Sure Ma'am, you have Czechoslovakia, Hungary, Romania, China.
- Good Janusz, but you have forgotten the most important and friendly , the USSR ...
- But Ma'am, you said friendly, USSR is even more than that, it's our brother country !
- Well Ok, that don't makes much of a difference ...
- Excuse-me Ma'am, it does. You can choose your friends, but not your family.

Joke number 4 is top grade

How to protect your Audi RS6 Avant from a Su-35.

U.S President Joe Biden stumbled and fell three times while boarding Air Force one

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/video/2021/mar/19/joe-biden-stumbles-on-steps-of-air-force-one-video

How to protect your Audi RS6 Avant from a Su-35.

Interesting concept and also very telling.

If the threat was an F-35 and it was a Russian car the solution would not be Kashtan... it would be TOR or Pantsir or S-350 which would be vastly more effective at shooting down an F-35 than Goalkeeper which would be useless beyond about 4km or so... a Flanker trying to destroy a car would not need to get anywhere near the Audi to kill it... and Goalkeeper would be next to useless... even more so considering its weight would render the vehicle stationary and destroy the suspension of the car making it an even easier target... the recoil would roll the vehicle anyway...

The next solution of a Typhoon is a joke too... why would they think the Su-35 would want to close in and dogfight a Typhoon?

If a Gripen can jam a Typhoon then I would expect a Su-35 can do so too.

GarryB wrote:

How to protect your Audi RS6 Avant from a Su-35.

Interesting concept and also very telling.

If the threat was an F-35 and it was a Russian car the solution would not be Kashtan... it would be TOR or Pantsir or S-350 which would be vastly more effective at shooting down an F-35 than Goalkeeper which would be useless beyond about 4km or so... a Flanker trying to destroy a car would not need to get anywhere near the Audi to kill it... and Goalkeeper would be next to useless... even more so considering its weight would render the vehicle stationary and destroy the suspension of the car making it an even easier target... the recoil would roll the vehicle anyway...

The next solution of a Typhoon is a joke too... why would they think the Su-35 would want to close in and dogfight a Typhoon?

If a Gripen can jam a Typhoon then I would expect a Su-35 can do so too.

I didn't take it too seriously either, that's why I posted the vid in the funny posts thread.