Military Forum for Russian and Global Defence Issues


    Hilarious-Funny posts Thread

    Share
    avatar
    nightcrawler

    Posts : 534
    Points : 650
    Join date : 2010-08-20
    Age : 28
    Location : Pakistan

    Re: Hilarious-Funny posts Thread

    Post  nightcrawler on Mon Jan 31, 2011 8:58 pm

    avatar
    nightcrawler

    Posts : 534
    Points : 650
    Join date : 2010-08-20
    Age : 28
    Location : Pakistan

    Re: Hilarious-Funny posts Thread

    Post  nightcrawler on Fri Feb 04, 2011 2:48 pm


    avatar
    nightcrawler

    Posts : 534
    Points : 650
    Join date : 2010-08-20
    Age : 28
    Location : Pakistan

    Re: Hilarious-Funny posts Thread

    Post  nightcrawler on Sat Feb 05, 2011 3:23 pm

    this is a collection of dialogues b/w Soviet & US during Cuba & Vietnam crises; I made it out of a documentary



    avatar
    nightcrawler

    Posts : 534
    Points : 650
    Join date : 2010-08-20
    Age : 28
    Location : Pakistan

    Re: Hilarious-Funny posts Thread

    Post  nightcrawler on Mon Mar 07, 2011 1:08 pm

    US isn't that bad>>




    avatar
    nightcrawler

    Posts : 534
    Points : 650
    Join date : 2010-08-20
    Age : 28
    Location : Pakistan

    Re: Hilarious-Funny posts Thread

    Post  nightcrawler on Wed Mar 16, 2011 3:52 pm



    Pervius

    Posts : 247
    Points : 267
    Join date : 2011-03-08

    Re: Hilarious-Funny posts Thread

    Post  Pervius on Mon Mar 28, 2011 11:19 pm

    You have to admire the tactics they use to keep America subverted.

    Aluminum smelting process ends up with a hazardous waste byproduct called fluoride with lots of other bad elements in it. Not knowing what to do with it American scientists studied it trying to figure out a way to sell it/use it.

    They found putting that waste into America's city waters dumbs down the population. Buyer found.


    Meanwhile they still have notices on their toothpaste "not to swallow and if you do to call poison control"...because it's got hazardous waste fluoride in it. ha ha ha ha!!!

    Americans are the dumbest population on Earth. Their masters are making money over them left and right. Oh...that fluoride water gave you impotence...here buy Viagra.....Viagra starts giving cities money to buy hazardous waste fluoride to put into water...ha ha ha ha!!!

    idiot americans.
    avatar
    nightcrawler

    Posts : 534
    Points : 650
    Join date : 2010-08-20
    Age : 28
    Location : Pakistan

    Re: Hilarious-Funny posts Thread

    Post  nightcrawler on Thu Apr 14, 2011 5:30 pm





    Austin

    Posts : 6376
    Points : 6776
    Join date : 2010-05-08
    Location : India

    Re: Hilarious-Funny posts Thread

    Post  Austin on Thu Apr 21, 2011 4:59 am

    Medvedev Shaking his legs to American Boy

    avatar
    NationalRus

    Posts : 631
    Points : 640
    Join date : 2010-04-11

    Russian troops fed dog food!

    Post  NationalRus on Thu May 19, 2011 6:21 pm

    (Reuters) - Russian Interior Ministry troops were fed dog food earlier this year to save money, a former officer in the ministry said Thursday.

    A rare whistleblower in Russia's expansive security forces, ex-Major Igor Matveyev said officers tried to cover up the scandal and other alleged wrongdoing at the Interior Ministry troops base where he served in the far east city of Vladivostok.

    Matveyev, who served in Russia's wars against Chechen separatists in the 1990s, said he was ordered dismissed after posting a video on the Internet this month alleging widespread corruption in the Interior Ministry forces.

    No one at the ministry's troop unit was immediately available to comment on his allegations.

    "It's embarrassing to say but soldiers here were fed dog food. It was fed to them as stew," Matveyev said in an interview with Reuters, adding that dog food labels were covered up with labels reading 'premium quality beef'.

    He said he would contest a dismissal order issued by a superior after he posted the nearly 10-minute video, in which he asked President Dmitry Medvedev and Prime Minister Vladimir Putin to intervene.

    "It took me a month to determine through various reports exactly what was happening," he said by phone from Vladivostok, some 6,400 km (4,000 miles) east of Moscow.

    The Interior Ministry troops command was cited by Russian agencies as saying that a number of the incidents Matveyev described had occurred, but that they had long ago been dealt with and that an investigation had been started.

    President Dmitry Medvedev has said rampant corruption in the ranks is one of the biggest problems facing Russia's security forces.

    The Interior Ministry maintains units of troops across Russia responsible for domestic security. They are separate from the army, which comes under the Defense Ministry.

    Russia's security services are at odds with themselves as they undergo unpopular reforms that are aimed at restructuring the military's officer and troop structure, which critics such as Matveyev say is ridden with corruption.

    "This doesn't happen by accident, it is a system. Reforms are ongoing and we have to come out and say these things, we have to pay attention to these issues," he said.

    He added that 18 illegal migrant laborers were housed at the Vladivostok base for a month and a half and were used for clean-up and construction jobs.

    "They were Koreans or Chinese, I don't know because they did not have any documents," he said.

    He also said that property on the base had been sold off without permission to make money for the officers, but did not specify what had been sold or to whom.

    The authorities have not said whether they are investigating that specific allegation.

    http://www.reuters.com/article/2011/05/19/us-russia-troops-dogfood-idUSTRE74I4TH20110519


    our troops get dog food and f**** illegals are working for the military..... and maybe even nobody gives a shit.... this is so f***ing pathetic its hard to comment on it
    avatar
    GarryB

    Posts : 16709
    Points : 17317
    Join date : 2010-03-30
    Location : New Zealand

    Re: Hilarious-Funny posts Thread

    Post  GarryB on Fri May 20, 2011 4:18 am

    It is hard to believe because dog food is probably more expensive than the cheaper cuts of meat.

    The difference between dog food and food consumed by humans is different standards... and in Russia the standard for pet food is probably higher than in some countries for meat consumed by people.

    I suspect the unit got sent dog food to feed dogs, and so I also suspect that if this dog food was fed to interior ministry soldiers it might have been because the meat the men were supposed to eat was sold for profit.

    Using illegals for labour actually makes a bit of sense... if you are in a country illegally you will of course want to do any sort of work to stay and that includes mindless boring work none of the locals want to do.

    Lets face it... there are an enormous number of jobs locals don't want... would it be better to hunt illegals down and deport them so they will hide and steal to survive.

    The dog food story is bad news... and I am sure the western press will love it being spread around, but who cares about using illegals this way... as long as they are not abused... they get to stay... and if they can prove they are good workers perhaps give them citizenship.
    avatar
    Flanky

    Posts : 181
    Points : 188
    Join date : 2011-05-02

    Re: Hilarious-Funny posts Thread

    Post  Flanky on Fri May 20, 2011 12:57 pm

    Once again it gets down to corrupted and mafia style fellas.
    In Russia i think it would be appropriate to approve death penalty.
    And not just for "serious" crimes... but also for large money thefts, for continual money thefts, for crimes against humanity, for murders, for drug trafficking, for bribery.
    If this would be approved, couple of examples would be carried out on death penalty, but then we would see the magic of death sentence.
    For example in China there is a death penalty for importing drugs. So even a small amount can buy you a bullet in the head.
    And as such i haven't heard of drug additcs being a problem in china.
    When people are confronted with the possibility of being killed as a form of punishment for their crimes, they will think not two but ten times wether to make the crime or not.
    This is the only most effective way how to deal with this kind of problem in Russia.
    I know that tons of Human rights organisations will be together with Transparency international (CIA front organisation) bragging about human rights in Russia. But nobody would seriously care.
    Most of the intelligent population of the world would be opting for this, even in their home countries. There are only couple of countries where crime is not a problem.
    avatar
    NationalRus

    Posts : 631
    Points : 640
    Join date : 2010-04-11

    Re: Hilarious-Funny posts Thread

    Post  NationalRus on Fri May 20, 2011 2:53 pm

    The difference between dog food and food consumed by humans is different standards... and in Russia the standard for pet food is probably higher than in some countries for meat consumed by people.

    i don't think that shitty low quality dog food is cheaper then that shit that the soldiers need to eat, and even IF the food of the soldiers is so much cheaper then the worst dog food its already fucking pathetic, why our soldiers have to eat the cheapest of the cheapest, the most low quality food that is in russia? i know what good tushonka looks like but ther tushonka looks most of the time like shit

    Using illegals for labour actually makes a bit of sense... if you are in a country illegally you will of course want to do any sort of work to stay and that includes mindless boring work none of the locals want to do.

    Lets face it... there are an enormous number of jobs locals don't want... would it be better to hunt illegals down and deport them so they will hide and steal to survive.

    i would understand if some corrupt bastard in some damn company employs damn illigals to do the shity work, but in the military?? the people who should protect out borders and defend our country employ illigals in the goverment space?... that only shows how low our standart are and how corrupt and not cerring our officials are... i mean whats next? employing illegals in the police?
    avatar
    GarryB

    Posts : 16709
    Points : 17317
    Join date : 2010-03-30
    Location : New Zealand

    Re: Hilarious-Funny posts Thread

    Post  GarryB on Sat May 21, 2011 4:40 am

    i don't think that shitty low quality dog food is cheaper then that shit that the soldiers need to eat, and even IF the food of the soldiers is so much cheaper then the worst dog food its already fucking pathetic, why our soldiers have to eat the cheapest of the cheapest, the most low quality food that is in russia? i know what good tushonka looks like but ther tushonka looks most of the time like shit

    I don't know all the details yet, but this is not standard practise.
    If you ever saw what went into making Chicken McNuggets you'd swear it was a recipe for pet food. They put claws and beaks and any other bit they can't use for anything else into those damn things.

    It seems that reforms take time in the far east, but eventually the process will catch on there (probably accelerated by this story and of course the official visits to the Kurile Islands) and one of those reforms is to use civilian contractors to provide meals for military units so that soldiers spend no time peeling spuds which should free up more time for proper training.

    A bit ashamed to say it but NZ is a significant exporter of meat and dairy products and there was a documentary on TV a while back showing the crap we sell to our island neighbours. Fatty rubbish that no one else will buy, but we sell it to islands in the Pacific... no wonder there are so many there with weight problems and there is so much diabetes there.

    The point is that the meat comes from the same animals, it is just some cuts people will buy and some they will reject. It happens most nights in family homes where the people eat the meat and then give the fat and gristle to their pets.

    Ironically it is soldiers that need the extra fat and energy so it is not actually bad for them, but obviously using actual dog food is never acceptable for humans.

    The most common news report of people eating dog food in the west is often elderly living on their own and unable to afford better food... which is also unacceptable.

    i would understand if some corrupt bastard in some damn company employs damn illigals to do the shity work, but in the military?? the people who should protect out borders and defend our country employ illigals in the goverment space?... that only shows how low our standart are and how corrupt and not cerring our officials are... i mean whats next? employing illegals in the police?

    In australia they take illegals and send them off to small islands to live in camps and sit around and do nothing all day.

    As you might guess after 2-3 years of sitting on their arses doing nothing they start getting pissed off and start hunger strikes and all sorts of nonsense.

    I would think using them to do manual labour that no one else wants to do is a brilliant idea and getting them to clean up areas or simple labouring jobs is a great way to start integrating these people into your society.

    If they work for 2 years and do a good job then I would give them citizenship... after an initial check to make sure they don't have criminal records of course.

    There is always going to be migration... it is best to control it and manage it and make it useful to you. If it is in the Far East of Russia where the population is going to be thin anyway why not accept these people? Just make sure they become Russians and learn about Russian ways etc and they and their children will be good citizens.

    Here in NZ some of our best citizens are asian... they generally have a very good work ethic and respect and value education. You can try to wall everyone out... but what do you think will be the eventual result there?

    Here is a solution to your population problems. A Chinese person moving from China to Russias far east does so to get away from the Chinese government and to find a better life for his family. If you can give him and his family stability and a job there is no reason why he and his family cannot make Russia a better place for all her citizens.

    I should point out that even after being put in internment camps during WWII and not being treated very well after dec 7th 41 most Japanese Americans fought for their new country and didn't consider fighting for Japan. I am sure there were exceptions but most immigrants seeking a better life do so because they life they had was not what they wanted... they are hardly going to rise up like the Albanians in Kosovo and demand the land they are on be returned to China or Korea or wherever.
    avatar
    NationalRus

    Posts : 631
    Points : 640
    Join date : 2010-04-11

    Re: Hilarious-Funny posts Thread

    Post  NationalRus on Sat May 21, 2011 2:12 pm

    In australia they take illegals and send them off to small islands to live in camps and sit around and do nothing all day.

    As you might guess after 2-3 years of sitting on their arses doing nothing they start getting pissed off and start hunger strikes and all sorts of nonsense.

    I would think using them to do manual labour that no one else wants to do is a brilliant idea and getting them to clean up areas or simple labouring jobs is a great way to start integrating these people into your society.

    doing cleanup work is normal work, and employing illegals for it in the goverment level is only showing which suckers are taking the decision to ignore and spit on russian law, a illigal is to be deported to HIS country and period!

    what NZ our australia does i don't realy care, but i don't want to belive that in russian we need to do it like in arizona to adopt a law that will enforce the execution of already exisiting laws!
    avatar
    GarryB

    Posts : 16709
    Points : 17317
    Join date : 2010-03-30
    Location : New Zealand

    Re: Hilarious-Funny posts Thread

    Post  GarryB on Sun May 22, 2011 7:01 am

    Immigration is an issue everywhere.

    If you want to waste funds putting these people in prison and then ship them back to where they came from then that is your money being spent.

    Keeping these people in custody is not free, so giving them work keeps them busy and means the people who otherwise would have to do that work can do something more productive.

    You are perfectly entitled to your views and opinions and they don't have to be the same as mine.

    I was merely stating my views backed up by my experience and knowledge... which is mostly NZ and Australia.

    It is sad that you think the biggest crime in the world is for someone to move to a part of Russia that no one else seems to want to live in to find a job and raise their family.

    If you don't keep people there pretty soon it will become vulnerable to a real invasion and you will have no one there to defend it.

    You are free to disagree... I don't like queue jumpers any more than you do, but it solves problems.

    BTW the economy in the Southern American states effected by illegal immigrants would probably collapse if they actually stopped coming... fields of food would rot because no legal citizen would work for such poor pay/conditions... and without the maids how would both parents in families be able to afford childcare if they couldn't hire an illegal at a cheap rate to look after their kids while they are at work?

    Pervius

    Posts : 247
    Points : 267
    Join date : 2011-03-08

    Re: Hilarious-Funny posts Thread

    Post  Pervius on Sun May 22, 2011 6:32 pm

    It's no big deal. Every countries military does things on the cheap.

    In Saudi Arabia they were feeding US troops. When the Americans asked them where the meat was coming from they wouldn't tell them. And meat was removed from the menu for awhile.

    Were British/Australian/Americans and others in Saudi Arabia eating worse than dog food? Nobody will ever know. Maybe they were being fed dead Filipino workers....poisoned meat from Iraq/Iran?


    All countries are suffering to support a military because they have too many old people needing free $$$ now from their governments. China's the only boom town now able to pay and feed a military.
    avatar
    Pugnax

    Posts : 90
    Points : 77
    Join date : 2011-03-15
    Age : 53
    Location : Canada

    Dog food

    Post  Pugnax on Tue May 24, 2011 6:12 am

    Yep Garry,minced chicken and fish products of the west are an abheration,most loathesome however is the all american hot dog...ears ,eyes and ass holes.
    avatar
    Pugnax

    Posts : 90
    Points : 77
    Join date : 2011-03-15
    Age : 53
    Location : Canada

    Dog food

    Post  Pugnax on Tue May 24, 2011 6:17 am

    I remember my military experiences with the old tinned food we had ,summer 1982 openning up a can of ham and eggs that was tinned in 1962,came out of the can with a sucking sloosh sound and was battleship grey in colour.Beef in gravy that was full of cystic tissue....oh the joys of Select brand food products!
    avatar
    GarryB

    Posts : 16709
    Points : 17317
    Join date : 2010-03-30
    Location : New Zealand

    Re: Hilarious-Funny posts Thread

    Post  GarryB on Wed May 25, 2011 3:53 am

    Sounds yummy... Shocked

    I think however that this is a case of corruption... if your unit gets sent cans of dogfood and you feed them to your men the question becomes what are your dogs eating, and what happened to the meat the men were supposed to be provided with.

    I am sure whatever happened someone put some money in their pocket and is laughing.
    avatar
    Pugnax

    Posts : 90
    Points : 77
    Join date : 2011-03-15
    Age : 53
    Location : Canada

    Dog food

    Post  Pugnax on Wed May 25, 2011 8:59 am

    On the lighter side ,milkbone dog biscuits are far better for the fightingman than cosmoline scented rusks! Very Happy
    avatar
    ahmedfire

    Posts : 676
    Points : 846
    Join date : 2010-11-11
    Location : egypt

    Egyptian Man to Fight Full-Grown Lion with His Bare Hands

    Post  ahmedfire on Fri Jun 24, 2011 11:10 am





    Sayed al Essawy, an Egyptian who claims to be the world’s strongest man, announced he will be fighting a 10-year-old, 230 kg lion, in front of the pyramids, to boost his country’s tourism business.

    I know it sounds silly, but Sayed is very serious about his plan, despite international outrage from animal activists. He claims he discovered his incredible strength when he was only 13, and almost immediately afterwards promised himself he would one day fight a lion. With the current state of the economy in Egypt, because of the recent revolution, Sayed al Essawy thought this was the perfect time to fulfill his childhood dream and at the same time boost his country’s tourism business by promoting the fight.

    In an interview with Al Masry Al Youm, Essawy confessed there is also a very serious political message that he wants to send. After he has vanquished the lion, he wants to place an Israeli flag on its body and put his foot on it. He says it was Israel who pushed him to do this, with all the atrocities they committed while he was growing up, and now he wants to prove that even though Israel and America are as strong as lions, they can still be defeated by the Arab youth, which is about to explode…

    Sayed al Essawy says the lion is currently housed on a friend’s farm, and that he hasn’t spent much time with it, for fear he might become too attached to it. Although the fight will take place in a cage, he plans to give the feline a fair chance, by not administering it any tranquilizers, and by fighting it with his bare hands. The Egyptian strong man says he’s even developed a new fighting style, especially for this epic confrontation, called “Life or Death”, but that the most important training method has been meditation. He visualizes the fight for two hours at a time, anticipating all the ways the lion could attack him and the best ways to dodge his charges. He claims he has no fear for his life, and that he’s actually more worried about the lion. He has also fought aggressive dogs in the past, so he has a little experience with animals…

    As you’ve probably already guessed, Sayed hasn’t managed to get all the permits he needs to stage the fight in front of the pyramids, especially after the international outrage from animal activists. The would-be lion fighter claims he is disappointed by their reaction, and claims they misunderstood his intentions. He doesn’t intend to of kill the big cat, but he is prepared to do it, if the lion gives him no other choice. If the animal acknowledges his strength, backs away and lets Sayed tie him up, he will spare his life, but if it turns into a life or death situation, he might be forced to kill him, with his bare hands. When is fighting a lion not a matter of life or death, right? But I’m not worried about the lion, if Sayed actually plans to fight fair…

    If he doesn’t get all the approvals he needs, Sayed al Essawy plans to stage the fight in a secret location and invite just a few important journalists able to spread the news about his bravery and incredible strength, and deliver his message to the world. After he defeats the king of the jungle, the self-proclaimed world’s strongest man wants to pull  an airplane with his teeth, with his hair, get run over by a plane and stage more lion fights in-between.

    http://www.odditycentral.com/funny/egyptian-man-to-fight-full-grown-lion-with-his-bare-hands.html
    avatar
    ahmedfire

    Posts : 676
    Points : 846
    Join date : 2010-11-11
    Location : egypt

    Re: Hilarious-Funny posts Thread

    Post  ahmedfire on Fri Jun 24, 2011 11:12 am

    My money is on that man.. Very Happy
    avatar
    ahmedfire

    Posts : 676
    Points : 846
    Join date : 2010-11-11
    Location : egypt

    Re: Hilarious-Funny posts Thread

    Post  ahmedfire on Fri Jun 24, 2011 11:22 am


    that's why we named as (pharaohs)
    pharaohs in arabic means (the man who can make anything),nothing can stop him... Cool
    avatar
    GarryB

    Posts : 16709
    Points : 17317
    Join date : 2010-03-30
    Location : New Zealand

    Re: Hilarious-Funny posts Thread

    Post  GarryB on Fri Jun 24, 2011 11:40 am

    If the lion has no teeth and no claws like they do to bears when they kill bears with dogs in so called "fights" then my money is on the man.

    If the lion is not drugged or injured before hand and has its claws and teeth and is not fed for two days before the fight my money is on the lion.

    Most lions spend most of their time sleeping when they are not pinching food off their pack of female lionesses that do all the hunting. Other than scaring away non related male lions they do little else most of the time.

    Having said that one swipe from those claws and even big men covered in muscles are in trouble... big muscles wont stop razor sharp claws or teeth.

    Having said that he is doing this for his country and as a political message to Israel and the US... good luck to him.
    avatar
    ahmedfire

    Posts : 676
    Points : 846
    Join date : 2010-11-11
    Location : egypt

    Re: Hilarious-Funny posts Thread

    Post  ahmedfire on Fri Jun 24, 2011 4:12 pm

    The lion is complete, teeth and claws are working well
    and this is the disaster Exclamation

    how could ?!
    we will see...tomorrow

    Sponsored content

    Re: Hilarious-Funny posts Thread

    Post  Sponsored content


      Current date/time is Sun Nov 19, 2017 4:11 am